Softened In the Midst of Difficulty

Moving from a place with endless warm sunny days to the Pacific Northwest meant some big adjustments, if for no other reason than the change in the weather. After living here for over four years, I can honestly say I still enjoy the change in seasons and appreciate all they bring, even the rain.

My family and I have learned every winter to wait with eager anticipation of spring right along with everyone else. We imagine trips to the park with the kids, hiking a local trail, maybe a ferry ride to the peninsula to see family. This year was no exception.

This past June the Robinson family had an unexpected surprise in the form of a serious illness that put an end to most of these plans. In what felt like the blink of an eye, I went from normal life to sitting in the ER with my wife waiting for test results, triage, and reeling from how things had developed. It was a shock that will take my family and I time to process.

Since then, there have been joys and challenges, emotional highs and lows, elation, joy, celebration, bitterness, anger, and confusion.

On one particular evening, I was in a dark emotional place and not feeling positive about anything. I just wanted out of these circumstances and to move on with the life of comfort I enjoyed. I opened the devotion, “Morning & Evening” by Charles H. Spurgeon, to read. I wish I could say I did so with hopeful anticipation of hearing from my Lord, but honestly I just wanted to get through it and go to bed. The verse on this day was the following:

“...a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory;” Matthew 12:20 ESV

My hard heart was instantly softened.

Through all of the difficulty and hardship of the previous weeks, I had come to a place where I hated my situation and I failed to see how any good could come from it, for myself or God’s Kingdom. I doubted God’s wisdom and I struggled to trust Him.

This verse reminded me that Jesus is a gentle Lord and that these troubles were not arbitrary or mean spirited. Rather, He was carefully, patiently, and lovingly applying these things to my heart to bring about the very change I have asked for throughout my walk with Him: to be more like HIM! Our Father in Heaven is not wasteful and no moment we endure as his children will fail to accomplish what He intends.

Be encouraged that whatever season you are in today, believer, Jesus is still gentle and he loves his children. And while trouble in this world is promised, He has already overcome the world!

~Pastor Jeremiah Robinson